The Colonel and The Crackhead

So what's up with all the protests and rebellions lately? Don't these people have anything to do? Seems like everyone in the Arab world wants to go hang out in some large, open public area and practice their chants. I've never been much for chants. Seems a little too "Hari Krishna" for me, but whatever melts your butter, I guess. And this whole Libyan thing is a real mess. They can't decide if it's a protest or a civil war. And what difference would it make if they could? Are there different rules? I mean, I already have some serious questions about Libya. Let's start with this one. If Colonel Gadhafi has been in power over there since 1969, why hasn't he been promoted to general? If he's the commander-in-chief in Libya, why does he have to settle for colonel? For one thing, I think generals have a better retirement package. Then again, maybe dictators have an even better plan.

And then there's the issue of how to spell his name. There's Gadhafi, and Gaddafi, and Qaddafi, just to name a few. So why doesn't someone just ask him? People ask me how to spell my name all the time and it's not nearly as complicated as his. But, man, I like his title - "Brother Leader and Guide of the Revolution." Now that's a title you can sink your teeth into. None of this Prime Minister, President, or Emperor stuff for him. Which makes it even harder to understand why he couldn't rise above colonel. Maybe it was an early retirement. Besides, I'm guessing "Brother Leader....." trumps everything else anyway.

And how about old Charlie Sheen? He's been on TV more in the past week than, well, Two and A Half Men. But, I've got to tell you, some of the stuff coming out of his mouth scares me. He may be one of the few people on earth who makes more sense high than sober (well, ok, maybe he and Mel Gibson). He says all he had to do to get sober was to put his superior mind to it and just correct it - just will it away. Well, Charlie, as a friend of mine used to say, "if you think will power is so great, try it the next time you have diarrhea." That would definitely take a superior mind, along with some other superior parts.

And finally, from the "Did You Ever Wonder Why" department....why is McDonald's McRib sandwich always "available for a limited time only"? Do ribs go out of season? If so, do pigs know that? I've never had a McRib, but they must really be terrific, given all the finger-licking and lip-smacking going on in their commercials. Maybe limiting the supply keeps the demand high. I'm sure the marketing guys have it all figured out.

Hey, you know what? Maybe Colonel Gadhafi could sell McRibs in Libya if he finds himself out of work. The fast food gig might work out pretty well for him. At least it did for Colonel Sanders.

Till next time..........