Random Ruminations

I just got back from vacation, so I'm tanned, rested, and ready. As a friend of mine said, "This is the first day back in the saddle and I already have saddle sores."

I have a number of odd subjects that I've been meaning to address. Nothing too deep, mind you, just some odds and ends from my warped point of view. Here goes:

• There are some new terms out there that I need to add to my vocabulary. I saw a store at the local mall that says "urban wear for men and women." What is "urban wear"? Is there "rural wear" (overalls)? What about suburban wear? I guess I didn't realize you needed a special wardrobe in the city, other than the bullet proof vest.
  
• In the recent Iranian elections the officials said they understood the concerns about improprieties and that they had conducted a "partial recount." So what is a "partial recount"? Seems to me you either recount or you don't, but you can't do a partial recount, can you? What if you questioned the amount of change you got back from a cashier and he said, "OK, I'll give you a partial recount." Would you be satisfied with that? I didn't think so.
  
• What is "Restless Leg Syndrome" and how do you catch it? Evidently there's an epidemic going on that I didn't know about. Should I wash my hands more often? Heaven forbid we get the stomach flu along with a bad case of RLS! Write your own punch line.


• Coors now has a can that changes color when it gets cold enough to drink. This is to spare you the heartache of drinking your beer a couple of degrees prematurely. Do you know of any beer drinker who has had a problem with this? Yet another solution for which there is no problem.


• I was in an Outback Steakhouse recently and we didn't have any sugar or sweetener on the table. When I asked the waiter about it he said they had stopped putting it on the table so diners would have more room. It eliminated some of the clutter. Really? Well, it's comforting to know that, after all these years, they're worried about me having enough room to eat - and that it has nothing to do with people stealing the sugar and sweetener. Here's another suggestion - how about taking away some of the propaganda for drinks and desserts and leave the sugar alone. Hopefully I'll have enough room to get my fork in my mouth.


• What is it with all the lawyer ads on TV lately? We've always had some, but now it seems like everyone who passed the bar exam in the last 30 years has an ad on TV. Most of them have to do with personal injury, asbestos, or workers comp. They all want to talk about the settlement amounts, but never mention that they keep most of it themselves. I'm all for free speech, but there's something about lawyers, doctors, and drug companies buying TV time that scares me a little. Sort of puts them in the same class with car dealers and burger joints.


• Does it bother anyone else that the government wants to get in the healthcare business? You'd think they have enough to do running the auto and banking industries without taking on healthcare. If you want an idea of what government-run healthcare looks like, check out the VA. They're the ones who can't figure out which end of the colonoscopy tube goes where. Feel better now?

And finally, this bumper sticker caught my eye and made me think. It simply said, "Why the hell should I have to press 1 for English?" Fair question, in my opinion.

Till next time..........