What Would Newton Think Now?

In 1961 Newton Minow, then Chairman of the FCC, had this to say to the National Association of Broadcasters:

"When television is good, nothing—not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers—nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there without a book, magazine, newspaper, profit and loss sheet or rating book to distract you—and keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that you will observe a vast wasteland."

Bear in mind that this was in 1961 when we only had three networks and stations still signed on and off. It was also before Dancing With The Stars, Survivor, The Batchelor, and CSI:Peoria. The question is obvious - what in the world would Newton think now? The land is certainly more vast and more wasted than it was in 1961.

Today even the commercials are lousy. Working from home as I do, I try to catch up on the news as I eat lunch. Let me tell you that the commercials that run in the middle of the day are riveting! Let me give you some examples of what I have learned while trying to get a lunch time update on the world economy, the war, and other news of the day:

• Did you know that you can get an electric wheelchair from The Scooter Store that will be at little or no cost to you? Who could pass that up? (Of course we taxpayers pick up the tab.)


• Did you know that Mr. Roof will come out and inspect your roof for free? If you need a new roof they'll work with your insurance company "to get you the new roof you deserve." How many of you "deserve" a new roof? Frankly, I didn't realize it was something I earned.


• Did you know you can get your diabetes testing supplies delivered right to your door and that Liberty Medical will fill out all the paperwork? They will also remind you when it's time to reorder in case you can't tell when the box is empty. They even have operators in lab coats waiting to take your order (the lab coats make them look more "medical").

• As a side note, you can get your pet's medications delivered to your door as well. Just be careful you don't get them mixed up. There are a couple of jokes I could insert here, but better judgment prevails.


• Did you know that if you even think you've been injured on the job, there are thousands of personal injury lawyers (aka ambulance chasers) who will take your case and not charge you a dime until they collect from the insurance company? You don't actually have to be injured, just think you are. This may somehow be related to the cost of insurance for me and you, but I'm not sure.


• Finally, it is my well-researched opinion that no business owner should be allowed to make his own commercials. This is especially true of car dealers. I know that they think it is a mark of success and makes them more recognizable around the community, but being recognized as the "doofus who has the Jeep dealership" is not necessarily a good thing. This also applies to the aforementioned lawyers. Just because you have a nice suit doesn't mean you're an actor. Leave it to the professionals.

Even with all these negatives, there's something about sitting there with that remote in your hand that gives you a sense of power - even if you can't find anything to watch on 150 stations. And I have XM radio, too. So I not only have access to the five stations I listen to, but also another 145 that I never listen to. Yep, that's what we need - more choices.

So, Newton, if you thought TV circa 1961 was bad, well, you should get a glimpse of Wifetime.....I mean Lifetime. Or Oxygen. Or ...well, you get my drift.

In the meantime, Comcast is coming out tomorrow to hook me up with a DVR and the Digital Plus Package. Then I'll have even more stations with nothing on them. Heck, I can even record them! Yep, Newton, life is good!

Till next time.........