Timeout

I'm going to warn you up front....this is one of those topics that is bound to alienate some of you.

Now that you've had fair warning, let me ask a question. What ever happened to parents making their kids behave? Have you been to the mall, or the grocery store, or even church (for Heaven's sake) lately and listened to parents? I'm sorry, but it's pathetic! I swear, if I hear one more mother start counting (ok, Johnny, one....two.....three) I may need a barf bag! And what on earth is timeout and what is the purpose?

Now this may be an oversimplification, but if little Johnny is stomping his feet in the aisle of the grocery store, pick him up and blister his backside right there on the spot. And if you're concerned about how hard to spank him, here's the rule .......... hard enough that he doesn't want another one. I wouldn't be too concerned about his self esteem at this point, nor that we're teaching him violence, nor that we're teaching him that it's ok to hit people, nor that we're afraid he won't like us. We should be more concerned about what we're teaching if we DON'T do anything. What we ARE teaching him is to do what he is told. At this stage of his life, that's the more important lesson.

As you might expect, I have a few tips for those of you who are confounded by this dilemma:

• First of all, don't be afraid to spank your kids when they need it. There is a difference in hitting and spanking, but the Bible does say "..if thou beatest him, he will not die" (Prov. 23:13). That's good enough for me.
• If your child is doing something that is disrupting everyone else's business, do whatever it takes to make them stop....now! Why should someone pay a babysitter to watch their kids while they go out to dinner, only to be seated next to you and listen to your kids bang the table all night? Or, more pointedly, why should anyone be inconvenienced in any way just because you refuse to take responsibility for your own child?
• This may come as a great shock, but your child may not be as cute to everyone else as he is to you. A kid sitting in front of me on an airplane drooling and trying to play peep-eye is not cute - it's annoying. Make them stop. Don't look at me and smile like I should be enjoying it.
• Kids don't need more friends, they need parents. Someone to teach them manners, respect for others, right from wrong, etc. That's your job. Being a parent sometimes means making unpopular decisions. So put on your big-boy or big-girl pants and be the parent.
• Speaking of manners, teach your children to say "yes sir" and "no sir", "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". I'm proud to say my four grandchildren do this. That's because their parents (my children and their spouses) taught them to do so. When's the last time you heard a kid say that? Yeah, that's what I thought!
• Start early. You can't decide to get control when a kid is 14. You're only making it hard on yourself if you don't start early and stay consistent.
• Bring your children up in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." That's where respect, self esteem, and a solid set of values are learned. And you have to lead by example (see big-boy pants).
• Finally, use common sense. I know, I know, it's tough to do if you don't have any yourself, but do the best you can and pray for God's help.

Just so you don't think I'm getting a free pass here, my children will probably read this. If I'm too far afield they'll let me know it. They aren't perfect, but they're close! They know I love them and their spouses AND my grandchildren. They know it because I tell them and I try to show them. You should, too (your kids, not mine). God has truly blessed me with a great family. Darlene and I are humbled by how richly God has blessed us.

And finally, if you have small children I want you to know that I wouldn't trade places with you for anything in this world. This is my "timeout".

Till next time......