Still More Random Ruminations

You know, sometimes you just have to wonder about our ability to set priorities in this country. We are the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) at getting all jacked up about something that doesn't really matter.

Let's take, for instance, the great "Beyonce Lip-Sync Scandal". I don't think I've ever heard as much uproar about something so inconsequential. Really, does it matter if she was singing live or not? If President Obama can use a teleprompter, and Joe Biden can get hair plugs, why can't Beyonce use a little technology to help her? It wasn't like she was the first to do it. The famed cellist Yo Yo Ma (not to be confused with the rapper, YoMaMa) did the same thing at Obama's first inauguration and nothing was said about it. Hey, if it's good enough for Yo Yo, it's good enough for me.

I may have been a little rough on reality tv in my last post. I've gotten some feedback from you Duck Dynasty fans, though not a word from the Honey BooBoo-er's. Turns out they have a pretty loyal following, I guess. Well, to each his own. That's why tv's come with an on-off button, so you can act accordingly.

Speaking of must-see-tv, ABC has changed the name of their new show, "Celebrity Diving" to "Splash". Check this out:


"Splash, which premieres Tuesday, March 19, will feature 10 famous faces climbing the 10-meter high dive, pairing up for synchronized stunts and trying different aquatic maneuvers until one is crowned the victor.

Following the news of trainer and judge Greg Louganis' addition to the series, the network announced Friday that comedian Louie Anderson, actor Drake Bell, Chelsea Lately sidekick Chuy Bravo, Baywatch alum Nicole Eggert, Cosby Show star Keshia Knight Pulliam, Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh and reality star Kendra Wilkinson also are on board.

Perhaps most notably, the show also has tapped Miss USA competitor Katherine Webb, who grabbed national attention when ESPN commentator Brent Musburger spoke about her beauty during boyfriend and Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron's BCS National Championship Game appearance."


I can't wait! There's nothing I'd rather do than sit down by a nice warm fire with a hot cup of cocoa and spend an evening watching big name stars like Drake Bell and Chuy Bravo, whoever they are, performing what the promo calls "aquatic maneuvers". Ah, the thrill of competion! Set your DVR's now!

And finally, I was listening to Andy Stanley the other night. He's the pastor of a mega-church in the Atlanta area. He said something that hit me between the eyes. He said many of us in this country talk about how we are "blessed", how God has "blessed" us. He says that this is another way of saying that God has given us more than we need. He's given us "extra". His question was this - "What are you doing with your extra"? The Bible is pretty specific about helping the poor, the widows, the less fortunate. So what are we doing with our extra? Are we saving it for a vacation? Retirement? A new car? What should we be doing with it? I think we already know the answer.

Till next time.....

Totally Useless Observations

Well folks, we're halfway to spring. We can officially start the countdown. Yes, I know we will probably have a lot more cold weather, but it makes it a little easier for me to take if I know we're getting closer to the end. It's the opposite of the wino who keeps the sack over the bottle so he can't tell when the end is coming. See the difference? I didn't think so. Never mind.

• Is anyone else tired of hearing about Lance Armstrong? He lied, he's banned, end of story. Oprah is trying to save her struggling network by having some sensational interview with a cheater. I didn't watch it and I really don't care. I don't know of anyone who follows bicycling, do you? Bottom line is we have a guy who finally admits to cheating in a sport that nobody watches. And everybody already knew he was cheating anyway. I guess there's some news in there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it.

• Then there's poor Manti Te'o. And by poor I mean stupid. Maybe I'm missing something, but I can't imagine having a "relationship" online for months with someone I never met. How can you call someone your girlfriend when you've never seen them? And then to talk about their disease and mourn their death on national television? Give me a break! I can't imagine taking this guy in the NFL draft and expecting that he can learn complicated defenses. As gullible as he is, he'll fall for the play fake every time. Oh, and I see where Katie Couric has landed the (their words) 'coveted' interview with Te'o. Well, I'm sure that will be enlightening for all of us. Set your DVR's now!

• Is there a chance we may have saturated the reality tv market? I mean, really, Honey Boo Boo and Duck Dynasty? Is there no limit to how low we will go for entertainment? I watch my share of mindless television, but don't we have to draw the line somewhere? Do we Southerners really need any help lowering our perception in the eyes of the rest of the world?

• I'm glad Green Bay is out of the playoff picture. Now I won't have to hear the term 'frozen tundra' again until next season.

• I'll close with another opinion on the gun control issue. I've said before, I don't have any problem banning assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. I have to draw the line, though, with arming teachers and janitors. Come on, is that really the answer? How about we arm them all with a Bible and see how that works? Seems to me we'd be better off having God in our schools than guns. Given the choice of trusting my grandchildren's safety to a janitor with a Glock or to the Lord, I think I'll take the Almighty every time. Seemed to work out ok for Daniel in the lion's den.

Till next time..........

Random Ruminations for 2013

Happy New Year! Well, here we are in 2013. As that great philosopher, Willie Nelson, once said "if I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." How true! I had my share of medical issues in 2012 and I'm looking forward to a better new year, God willing.

We have a lot of crazy stuff going on (what else is new!). Here are some thoughts on recent events, in no particular order of importance:

• I heard today that Congress has an 18% approval rating, the lowest ever. That is truly surprising to me. Who are the 18% who approve? I don't know of anyone - not a single person - who approves of anything they're doing up there. Evidently 18% of the people in the US are related to Congressmen. Only a mother could approve of that mess.

• Good news! The 'fiscal cliff' has been averted! Now all we have to deal with is the debt ceiling cliff, the budget cliff, the tax cliff, and the entitlement cliff, not to mention the national debt cliff. Sadly, we don't have anyone in Washington on either side of the aisle or at either end of Pennsylvania Avenue with enough guts to do what has to be done. The bottom line is that we're going to have to raise taxes on more than the wealthy and we're going to have to make some serious sacrifices in what they call 'entitlement programs' and other spending. Unfortunately, it won't happen. They all know what needs to be done, but you can't get re-elected by raising taxes and cutting out the pork for your district. So they just keep kicking the can down the road and hoping for a miracle. In the words of Lee Iacocca, "Where have all the leaders gone?"

• Speaking of entitlements, it torques me when I hear Social Security referred to as an 'entitlement'. I'm entitled to it because I've paid more into it than I will ever get back. Let me give you a better example of an entitlement. How about the benefits of the House and Senate that give you a full pension after 8 years with full medical benefits for life? Now that's an entitlement. So don't whine to me about my Social Security while I'm paying your retirement and insurance.

• Congratulations to the Baseball Writers' Association of America for getting it right. They failed to elect Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, or Mark McGwire to the Baseball Hall of Fame. And it wasn't even close. Finally, a group who has the good sense not to reward the cheaters. On that note, I see where Lance Armstrong is going to be interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and he might even admit to taking performance enhancing drugs. See, that's the part that bothers me. Deny it, deny it, deny it, deny it, then after you get caught, admit it. That really takes a lot of courage. 'Live Strong', my behind.

So here's wishing all of you a prosperous new year. May God bless us all in 2013 and may everything we do honor Him.

Till next time.....

Some Things You're Better Off Not Knowing

Looks like we're going into Christmas without a solution to the fiscal cliff debacle. Now there's a surprise! Who would have thought that the Democrats and Republicans would have reached an impasse?

It aggravates me to no end because I remember when they used to get things done up there. When I was a kid, Sam Rayburn of Texas was the Speaker of the House. Somehow or another, he, Lyndon Johnson, Barry Goldwater, and others just seemed to figure out a way to get it done. We didn't necessarily get all the details, we just knew they came out of the back room with a deal. It was that way more recently, too. When Medicare passed, it was very controversial. But somehow, some way, they worked through it and got it passed. And then, sometime later, came gridlock. Nobody gives an inch and nothing gets done. And do you know when it happened? Well, right about the time CNN came along. Right about the time we decided we needed to know everything that happened in real time. You know, the "public's right to know" and all that.

Well, at the risk of sounding apathetic, I don't need to know everything! I don't need to know every single detail of how something passed or didn't pass. Or even who said what, when. I just need to know that, at the end of the day, the situation was resolved. Same thing with the "War on Terror", Afghanistan, Syria, and Lybia. Just answer one question..."Are we winning?" If the answer is yes, then keep on doing what you're doing. If the answer is no, then make an adjustment. Pretty simple in my opinion.

About 25 years ago, an old boss of mine used to say "Don't tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby." Man, I wish Congress and the President could take that one to heart! Oh, and there's one more thing....if you insist on telling me about the labor pains and never show me the baby, I'll vote for your opponent in the next election. The same boss who used the baby analogy also used to say "we're not measuring activity, we're measuring results." In other words, we don't care how busy you are - just whether or not you're getting the job done. Man, I miss that guy more than I thought!

So here's the bottom line, Washington...we're looking for results. Not sound bites, not witty sayings, not blaming the other party, not who can get the most face time on CNN. Just results. Is that so unreasonable?

Till next time.....

Remember Me?

Well, it's been a while - almost two years. I'm not sure why I took such a long hiatus. Maybe I just ran out of things to say, although my friends and family would surely disagree. Since I last posted to this site I've had cancer and lived to tell about it. I've had several heart procedures and lived to tell about them. Heck, there's enough right there to fill several blogs. Another time, maybe. But it's good to be back. I'm not sure how often I'll post, but hopefully more often than every two years! So tell your friends and stay tuned.

We've all been horrified by the events of last week in Newtown, CT. What a tragedy. So much has been written and shown about it that I'm reluctant to even mention it. I'm sad for the families and the town. I'm sad for our culture for allowing this kind of stuff to happen all too often.

I'm also mad. I'm mad at these gun-waving nut jobs who hold fast to their "right to bear an assault rifle with a magazine that holds dozens of rounds." I don't think that's what the Founding Fathers had in mind. Now don't get me wrong, I'm about as conservative as they come. I own a couple of handguns, a couple of rifles, and a shotgun. I haven't fired any of them in years, but I still have them. I believe it is my constitutional right to own them. I can hunt, I can protect myself, I can do just about anything that most Americans need to do with a gun. But I don't own an assault rifle and I can't understand why anyone would want to. And I don't think outlawing them infringes on my rights whatsoever.

Someone out there is saying that the shooter could have killed all those kids with a pistol just as easily as with the assault rifle. I disagree. At the very least, it would have taken him longer and maybe law enforcement could have gotten to him before he took so many innocent lives.

And while we're on the subject of the gun-wavers, there is a lot of talk in our State about allowing guns in cars at work, guns in restaurants, guns in parks, even some saying we should allow teachers to go armed in schools. What's wrong with these people? How could any of that possibly be a good idea?

I continue to be amazed at the lack of common sense in this country. As a matter of fact, they should call it something else because it really isn't all that "common" anymore. On so many issues that are important to our well-being and our future, we have totally gone off the deep end. Isn't someone in charge of thinking this stuff through before we do it? Well, they should be. We could even give them a title. We could call them.... Congressmen.

Till next time......

The Colonel and The Crackhead

So what's up with all the protests and rebellions lately? Don't these people have anything to do? Seems like everyone in the Arab world wants to go hang out in some large, open public area and practice their chants. I've never been much for chants. Seems a little too "Hari Krishna" for me, but whatever melts your butter, I guess. And this whole Libyan thing is a real mess. They can't decide if it's a protest or a civil war. And what difference would it make if they could? Are there different rules? I mean, I already have some serious questions about Libya. Let's start with this one. If Colonel Gadhafi has been in power over there since 1969, why hasn't he been promoted to general? If he's the commander-in-chief in Libya, why does he have to settle for colonel? For one thing, I think generals have a better retirement package. Then again, maybe dictators have an even better plan.

And then there's the issue of how to spell his name. There's Gadhafi, and Gaddafi, and Qaddafi, just to name a few. So why doesn't someone just ask him? People ask me how to spell my name all the time and it's not nearly as complicated as his. But, man, I like his title - "Brother Leader and Guide of the Revolution." Now that's a title you can sink your teeth into. None of this Prime Minister, President, or Emperor stuff for him. Which makes it even harder to understand why he couldn't rise above colonel. Maybe it was an early retirement. Besides, I'm guessing "Brother Leader....." trumps everything else anyway.

And how about old Charlie Sheen? He's been on TV more in the past week than, well, Two and A Half Men. But, I've got to tell you, some of the stuff coming out of his mouth scares me. He may be one of the few people on earth who makes more sense high than sober (well, ok, maybe he and Mel Gibson). He says all he had to do to get sober was to put his superior mind to it and just correct it - just will it away. Well, Charlie, as a friend of mine used to say, "if you think will power is so great, try it the next time you have diarrhea." That would definitely take a superior mind, along with some other superior parts.

And finally, from the "Did You Ever Wonder Why" department....why is McDonald's McRib sandwich always "available for a limited time only"? Do ribs go out of season? If so, do pigs know that? I've never had a McRib, but they must really be terrific, given all the finger-licking and lip-smacking going on in their commercials. Maybe limiting the supply keeps the demand high. I'm sure the marketing guys have it all figured out.

Hey, you know what? Maybe Colonel Gadhafi could sell McRibs in Libya if he finds himself out of work. The fast food gig might work out pretty well for him. At least it did for Colonel Sanders.

Till next time..........

Random Ruminations

I don't know about you, but I'm about ready for spring. I'll tell you, I've had just about all of Al Gore's global warming I can stand! We just had the seventh measurable snowfall in Nashville this winter - and we have a few weeks to go. Which brings me to my first topic - where are all the treehuggers when the highway guys are dumping all this stuff on the roads to melt the snow? Every county in our state has run low - or completely out - of salt, which means they've dumped a bunch on the roads. This is in addition to sand, brine mixture, and beet juice - yes, I said beet juice (apparently it makes the other stuff stick to the road better). So what happens when all that salt hits the water supply? You'd think our drinking water would have a sodium content just slightly lower than beef jerky. I'm surprised all these 'green thinkers' don't have us using sea salt on the roadways. After all, it's much better for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. The less I hear from these guys, the better. It's just odd that the same people who complain about the sodium content in Doritos haven't had road salt pop up on the radar yet. Oh well, give them time.

On to more important issues. This situation in Egypt is something, isn't it? For all the problems we have in this country, there's still no other place I'd rather be. I have no desire to travel outside the U.S. For one thing, a lot of the people outside our borders don't like us. So why should I go visit them and spend my money in their country when they don't want me there in the first place? Seems like a no-brainer to me. And what about Egyptian president Mubarak? He says if he leaves office it might create chaos in his country. Really? As opposed to what's going on there now, you mean? Well, we certainly wouldn't want him to do anything that would cause any unrest in the region. Hosni, old boy, I think that ship has sailed!

And finally, I read the other day that one of the most popular TV shows in a while is a new show called "Harry's Law". I agree, it's pretty good. If you haven't seen it, it stars Kathy Bates as a middle aged lawyer who got fed up with the big law firm she worked for and opened an office in a lousy neighborhood in Cincinnati. And what makes this show unique? Well, it's a story about a lawyer who doesn't need the finest accomodations, uses common sense, has compassion for those less fortunate, doesn't let special interests dictate her position, carries a pistol, and holds firm to her convictions. So why is it so popular? Well, because her values represent most of us in America. We get to see on the small screen what we can't see in real life. The majority of Americans subscribe to all those ideals, but the politicians won't let us see them played out in our daily lives. Sad, isn't it? We've allowed Washington to hijack our core values (again!).

Well, in light of all the wintry weather out there, remember the first thing Eskimos teach their children - don't eat the yellow snow!

Till next time..........

Ohio State, Overreactions, and Obamacare

I'm telling you, we get more out of touch with reality every day. If you don't believe it, check out the following:

This one blows my mind.....five Ohio State players, including star quarterback Tyrell Pryor, were suspended by the NCAA for the first 5 games of the next season, even though the announcement was made 10 days before their Sugar Bowl game against Arkansas. So why didn't they suspend them for the Sugar Bowl? Well, the NCAA said "the students were not properly educated by school adminstrators about the legality of their actions." Really? Wouldn't you think some things should just go without saying? No one told them that trading championship rings and football jerseys for tattoos - yes, I said tattoos - was wrong? What were they thinking? I'm sure that should make any comprehensive list of do's and dont's in a "proper education". "Now, Tyrell, don't forget that it's illegal to trade your game jersey for a big tattoo across your backside." Furthermore, if you're going to suspend them, make it immediate. As it stands, the only real game they're suspended for is Michigan State. The others are against perennial powers like Toledo and Akron (apparently the Columbus School for the Blind didn't have an open date). I say if you're caught, you pay immediately - no post-dated suspensions.

And speaking of suspensions, how about Bruce Pearl, head basketball coach at Tennessee? He was suspended for the first 8 games of the SEC schedule by the conference - his fate from the NCAA is still pending. What did he do, you ask? Well, he broke a number of recruiting rules and then lied about it to the investigators. In an effort to head off a more severe punishment, UT docked his pay and the conference suspended him. Seems pretty stiff, you say? Well, not enough, in my book! There is a big difference in cheating and cheating, then lying about cheating. To me, if you're caught you take your medicine and move on. If you cheat, then lie about it to the investigators, that's a whole different level. We'll see how he fares with the NCAA, but if I were him, I'd push for the Tyrell Pryor plan and see if I could only be suspended for the games I should win anyway.

Now for overreations. The tragedy in Tucson was just that, a tragedy. A senseless act carried out by a person with serious mental problems. So why are we calling for bans on guns, ammo, clips, Safeway stores, and folding tables? Well, they were all part of the scene that day and we want to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. Does anyone else think maybe we're overreacting? I don't mean to downplay the severity of the suffering of the victims and their familes, but aren't we throwing the baby out with the bathwater here? Oh, and will someone please tell Sarah Palin to shut up? I've never seen someone so intent as she is on proving her opponents right. She is apparently incapable of keeping her mouth shut - a dangerous attribute for one who has so little to say.

Ronald Reagan said it best - "‎We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” Amen.

And finally, Obamacare. As most of you know, I'm a political conservative. I dislike government intrusion into our private lives, and I was not in favor of the healthcare bill. Frankly some of the points in the bill are valid - removing caps on coverage, children having the ability to stay on their parents' coverage, etc. So why are the Republicans wasting time trying to repeal it when we all know it doesn't have a snowball's chance in Haiti of being repealed? Can you say 'grandstanding'? Why not just fix the parts that need fixing? They say you can't do it, that you have to start over. Why? Why is it necessary to go back to a blank slate when we all know that we need some kind of reform? Amend what needs amending, change what needs changing, and let's put this behind us.

Republicans are in a position of power right now. They have the most recent election on their side and, right now, they have public sentiment on their side. With all of the issues before us, I hate to see them waste all that collateral on an initiative they most certainly cannot win.

Oh, and one more thing...can someone hide Mitch McConnell's prune juice and castor oil? Anyone who frowns that much must be taking some pretty healthy doses.

Till next time..........

Elections, Body Scans, and Religion

Well, it has been a while since I've graced these pages and a lot has happened over the last six weeks or so. The recent general election is probably the most obvious event, but there are a couple of other issues that you may have overlooked.Let's break it down....

The November general election provided a resounding rejection of the Democratic agenda. Republicans should be careful not to read this as an endorsement of THEIR agenda. I think what most Americans are saying is "do something!". Most of us are tired of double-digit unemployment, a stagnant economy, and a housing market that can't seem to get off the ground. Most of all, we're tired of a government that doesn't seem to get it. They're unresponsive to the people who elected them and seem more concerned with playing all the political angles than in fixing anything. The sad fact is that I don't see much improvement over the next 2 years. If anything, it may get worse. If they couldn't get anything done with a Democratic President, House and Senate, what makes you think they'll get any more done now? One thing we did prove, however, is that we WILL vote you out of office. Maybe that's the wake up call they needed. None of these guys wants to have to go out and get a real job. Just remember, 2012 isn't that far away.

Have you heard all the uproar about the full body scans at the airport? I flew out of Nashville a couple of weeks ago and had to go through it. It's a little slower than before, but if it helps make things safer, so be it. For all those who are complaining, I have one word for you.......Greyhound! If you don't like going through security at the airport, take the bus. My guess is that a couple of trips to the West Coast via Greyhound will make that "unreasonable search" at the airport look pretty harmless. Hey, it's ok with me if they have the National Guard on every plane with an M16 locked and loaded. It seems to work pretty well for the Israeli's. It's really pretty simple - if you want to fly, go through the scanner. If not, get there some other way. I wish everything was this simple.

Finally, here's a little piece of news that may have gotten by you:

RALEIGH, N.C. — A soft-spoken 14-year-old's nose piercing has landed her a suspension from school and forced her into the middle of a fight over her First Amendment right to exercise her religion. Ariana Iacono says she just wants to be a normal teenager at Clayton High School, about 15 miles southeast of Raleigh. She has been suspended three times this year because her nose ring violates the Johnston County school system's dress code. "I think it's kind of stupid for them to kick me out of school for a nose piercing," she said. "It's in the First Amendment for me to have freedom of religion."

Iacono and her mother, Nikki, belong to the Church of Body Modification, a small group unfamiliar to rural North Carolina, but one with a clergy, a statement of beliefs and a formal process for accepting new members. It's enough to draw the interest of the state chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, which has contacted school officials with concerns that the rights of the Iaconos are being violated by the suspension.

The Iaconos say the school system is ignoring its own dress code policy, which allows exemptions on religious grounds. The effect, Nikki Iacono, 32, says, is that Johnston County school officials are setting themselves up as judges of what constitutes a "real" religion. "We pretty much flat-out asked them, what guidelines are you following? What do you need to establish a sincere religious belief?" she said. "We were told that if we were Hindu, or she were Muslim, it would be different."

On Tuesday, after her first suspension ended, Ariana went back to school with her mother — and her nose stud. She was suspended again, this time for five days. When she came back to school Tuesday with the nose stud, she was suspended again. A Johnston County schools spokeswoman declined to comment on the situation, saying it's against the law to publicly discuss a particular student's disciplinary matters. Richard Ivey, the Iaconos' Raleigh-based minister in the church, believes it's a case of officials dismissing something unfamiliar.

So now piercing, aka body modification, is a religion? And the ACLU, aka American Communist Lawyers Union, is interested? Well isn't it comforting to know that they're spending their time on meaningful issues? I mean, what difference does it make that little Johnny can't add 2 plus 2 as long as he gets to exercise his rights as a card-carrying member of the Church of Body Modification? Let's make sure he gets to show off the scabbed-over hole in his lip with the metal stud run through it while he worships. Can't be too careful when it comes to separation of church and state.

Let me leave you with this. As the politicians settle in for the lame duck session of congress, and everyone has their hand out, remember one thing: Government cannot give anything to anyone that they first have not taken away from someone else.

Till next time..........

Bed Bugs, Book Burnings, and Screaming Babies

I must admit, I'm a little scared. I have to go to Minneapolis tomorrow morning and I just read where they are one of the cities where bed bugs are thriving. I also noticed that 3 of the top 10 cities for bed bugs are in Ohio. Now that's a statistic that probably won't make it into the Chamber of Commerce brochure.

In case you haven't seen it on the news broadcasts lately, bed bugs are making quite a comeback. It used to be that they were associated with seedy boarding houses and the like. Now they're in upscale hotels and apartments. I guess they're "movin' on up" like the Jefferson's. So what's the reason for the sudden increase in these critters? It's probably because we've watered down the pesticides to the point that they won't kill anything anymore. Now everything has to be "organic" and "safe for the environment". Whether or not it will kill a bug seems to be secondary. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back to the days of DDT and Chlordane. I've seen my Dad come out of the tobacco field after spraying that stuff and his nose would bleed. That's not good. But it also doesn't do any good if it doesn't kill anything. I went to Home Depot to get some stuff I used last year to kill Japanese beetles. Well, they don't make it anymore. Too strong, they said. But they offered me some other stuff that was "safer". Problem is, it doesn't kill anything. I think the idea is to just keep spraying the bugs with it until they eventually drown. I don't have the patience for drowning. I want to spray them, then watch them immediately fall over on their little backs, with their legs kicking in the air, and die a slow, painful death. Now, what could possibly be wrong with that?

In case you missed it, we had a good, old-fashioned book burning over the Labor Day weekend. The most publicized was the one in Florida, which really never materialized. Another was right up the road from us in Springfield, TN. I actually used to go to church with that guy, but never suspected he could be quite that radical. Certainly he wasn't 25 years ago. Here's my problem - how can we expect people to get behind burning something when we can't even agree on how to spell it? Is it Koran, Quran, or Qur'an? Surely when Allah passed it down to Mohammed, he told him how to spell it correctly. Those of us who are Christian have our differences about what's inside the Bible, but so far as I know, we all spell it the same way. At least we can agree on that. Besides, I'm not sure burning the Koran does anything except alienate those who believe in it. I've never felt that kind of thing was very effective in changing someone's mind. It will, however, incite the radicals on both sides, which only drives us further apart.

And now, check this out from the Associated Press:


CAROLINA BEACH, N.C. (AP) -- The owner of a coastal North Carolina restaurant is fed up with screaming children who bother other diners.

So Brenda Armes has posted signs at Olde Salty restaurant in Carolina Beach that read "screaming children will not be tolerated." She told WECT-TV in Wilmington that the signs have worked by attracting more customers than they turn away.

Customer Gary Gibson agrees, saying he likes the signs because a meal isn't enjoyable when kids are screaming.

But a mother of two, Ashley Heflin, says parents can't help it if their children scream.

If a child is screaming, Armes says a restaurant employee will ask the parent to take them outside. They won't be asked to leave the restaurant for good.



Well, it's about time! Finally someone has the gumption to do something without worrying about whether it is politically correct. My thoughts on this subject are well documented (see the post from March 1, 2009)). Hey, if you can't make your kid behave, take him outside so he doesn't bother the rest of us. What's wrong with that? It makes so much common sense, it has to be controversial. But hats off to the folks at Olde Salty for taking a stand.

Well, it's off to Minneapolis where "sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite" takes on a whole new meaning.

Till next time..........

A Politician, a Pitcher, and a Quarterback

Three things that have absolutely nothing in common except that they're all in the news. Let's dig in...

First, to politics. With the mid-term election season in full bloom, both parties are attempting to make a political statement with every single thing that happens - or doesn't happen. It used to be that it only happened just prior to the election by whomever was behind in the polls. Today, it's year-round by all parties. No political potato is hotter than the proposed mosque a couple of blocks from ground zero. Have you ever seen so many people trying to go so many directions at the same time? President Obama said to a group of Muslims that he thought they should be allowed to build a mosque anywhere they wanted, even near ground zero. Then later, when he was questioned about it, he said he didn't say it was a good idea, only that they should be allowed to build it. I haven't seen this much tapdancing since Bill "Bojangles" Robinson and Shirley Temple. New York's Mayor Bloomberg, who is Jewish, says he's for it. That can't be real popular in New York. Harry Reid says he's against it. Of course, he's in Nevada and a long way from the action.

I guess I'm like a lot of other people - I realize it's their constitutional right to worship as they please and where they please, but it sure rubs me the wrong way for them to rub our collective noses in it. We're always being thrown under the bus for being "insensitive" to other races and religions. So how about a little sensitivity in our direction? I'm reasonably sure there are some Mexican restaurants in the vicinity of the Alamo today, but we've had about 250 years to cushion the blow a little - not 9. Just give us a little time and let us warm up to the idea - say another 250 years.

Now to sports. Roger Clemens has been indicted for lying to Congress. Anyone else see the irony here? Too bad we can't indict Congress every time they lie to us. Anyway, Clemens has been indicted just two short years after he testified. Well, you can't say Congress wasn't thorough in their investigation. Clemens says he hopes people will "keep and open mind" until the truth comes out. Frankly, I don't think Clemens or Congress would know the truth if it bit them in the butt. Maybe he can call in Barry Bonds as a character witness.

And then there's Brett Favre. He's decided not to retire.....again. How many years in a row have we fallen for this same gimmick? Give me a break on all this "for the love of the game" stuff! And the "I didn't know what I was going to do until today" teaser. Bottom line - he likes being the center of attention, Minnesota likes him being the center of attention, and he doesn't like training camp. If I were one of his teamates I'd want to know why I have to run and sweat and Favre doesn't. And he keeps saying the other quarterbacks on the team support him. Do you believe that? You're out there in July, not to mention the offseason, working out, learning the offense, watching film. Then, about the time training camp is over, a private jet lands and this yahoo from Mississippi gets off and takes your job. Yeah, I'm sure they're fine with that! I don't care if he plays or not, just spare me the Lebronesque announcement. Got to agree with him on one thing, though. If I was in Mississippi, I'd be trying to go somewhere else. Anywhere else. OK, except, maybe Arkansas.

Till next time..........

More Random Ruminations

Once again, a variety of opinions on a variety of subjects. As a friend of mine once said, "Often wrong, but seldom in doubt." Let's jump right in:

• What in the world is up with Mel Gibson? How can someone produce a movie like "The Passion of the Christ" and then use the kind of language and ranting we heard on those phone recordings? The guy is nuts, plain and simple. It bothers me that people like him are associated with Christianity. But then it probably bothers him that people like me are associated with Christianity. Frankly, none of us live up to the level we should - but we can do better than Mel. All you folks who have those "fish" symbols on your car, remember that when you flip somebody off in traffic.

• You've heard it before. After the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, for instance. A few days after the disaster, someone asked what happened. "Well, mistakes were made." Just last week, after the Shirley Sherrod debacle, someone asked how something like this could happen. "Well, mistakes were made." All these guys seem to have an uncanny grasp of the obvious. We're smart enough to know "mistakes were made", but we want to know who made them. We want names. We want to know what they knew and when they knew it. We want those people to be held responsible for their actions. We want to know whose neck to choke. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Would that response work with your employer? Think of all the great places that response could have been used throughout history....Nixon after Watergate, Eve in the Garden of Eden, the list is endless. We need to outlaw that phrase right now and make people take responsibility for their actions.


• Boy, I'll be glad when the elections are over. I'm about sick of all the tv ads. Every candidate starts out by saying "We're going to talk about the issues." What they really mean is "We're going to talk about the issues until I'm down in the polls, then I'm going to start saying anything to get a vote." As you know, I consider myself a conservative independent. That means that the Democrats and Republicans are equally disgusting to me. I honestly don't see how anyone can be affiliated with either major party and do anything besides continue the status quo. Sad, isn't it?

• A recent poll shows that 70% of Tennesseans oppose the "guns in bars" legislation, yet it is the law of the land. How is that possible? How can any legislator say they represent the people of their district, yet still support this law? Bottom line - it's an election year and no one wants to alienate the gun lobby. This is an example of when representative government does not work.

• I was on vacation with the family in Florida last week. Didn't see any oil, but you should have seen the guys who were looking for it. They looked like something out of a bad science fiction movie. Picture this... it's about 95 in July on the beach in Florida and these guys are out there with hats, masks, long pants, boots, plastic covers over the boots, a bucket, and a net. They're making $18 per hour to walk up and down the beach looking for tar balls. They have to take "frequent breaks due to the heat." Well, actually, they have to take frequent breaks because they have to wear all that gear that is required by the EPA. They're not trying to find nuclear waste, for goodness sakes, it's crude oil. It's the same thing the guys on the oil rigs touch with their bare hands every day! Give them a pair of shorts, some flip-flops, and a bucket. Pay them minimum wage and make the work all day. I mean, how smart do you have to be to spot a tar ball?

• And finally, there's poor Lindsey Lohan. She's having to go to jail because she violated her probation. Did she finally run out of rehab tickets? Isn't there some other appeal process for someone of her talent level? Would they actually make her spend time behind bars for breaking the law? Well, apparently the answers are Yes, No, and Watch Me! Maybe she'll get the message. Someone in the media said maybe she'll "finally get the help she needs." What she needs is a few more nights in the slammer, being treated like every other drunk. There's all kinds of help out there if she wants it, but it doesn't appear that she really wants any. I can tell you from experience, you can't help people who don't want to be helped. Save yourself some aggravation and stop trying until she asks.

Well, enough for now. Got to clean my pistol before we go to dinner. Oh, and I need to pick up a "Thinking of You" card for Lindsey.

Till next time..........

Soccer, Congress, and Kentucky

What do these three subjects have in common, you ask? Well, absolutely nothing except that each one has had an impression on me lately and I wanted to share it. Here goes...

Soccer - More specifically, World Cup Soccer. Why do all the news agencies and cable channels feel compelled to educate us on soccer? It's the world's most popular sport, they say. Bigger than baseball, football, and basketball put together, they say. The rest of the world is crazy about it, they say. Well, so what? It's not that big here.......and here is where I am. I'm sure bullfighting is a big deal in Mexico City. But I'm not in Mexico City, so how is that relevant? Sorry, but to me, it's boring. I heard the same argument for hockey. "If you understood it, you'd love it." OK, but I don't understand it and I don't care to learn. Playing hockey in the south is like surfing in Minnesota - it just doesn't make any sense. One of my favorite writers, Lewis Grizzard, said, "There are only three scores in soccer - 0-0, 1-0, and in a real scoring orgy, 1-1." That's kinda how I see it. So don't waste a lot of time trying to educate me on the finer points of "futbol".

Congress - A couple of weeks ago, congress called BP on the carpet. Each Representative had some "opening remarks" that allowed them to get in some cheap shots in the name of moral outrage over the oil spill. Oh, and, by the way, it's an election year. Those sound bites play pretty well to the folks back home. So, let's review...they called BP on the carpet after the oil spill. They called in the presidents of the auto makers after they were going bankrupt and needed a bailout. They called in the CEO's of the largest banks after the financial crisis. I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Here's my question: Since there are congressional oversight committees out the wazoo, why don't they call someone in before a crisis occurs? After all, if it's called an oversight committee, shouldn't they oversee something? Isn't the whole idea to prevent something bad from happening instead of just piling on after the fact? Maybe it's just me.

Kentucky - I was making a run up to Dayton, Ohio a couple of weeks ago and part of that drive takes me through Kentucky. I saw a couple of signs I wanted to share with you. These are absolutely real, I promise. The first was just south of Elizabethtown. A big sign on the northbound side of I-65 said "Used Cows for Sale". Now I don't know about you, but that makes me a little nervous, given that I was in Kentucky. What exactly is a "used cow" and how was it used? The
second was just south of Louisville. Way up on a hill on the southbound side of I-65 I spotted a sign that said "Tattoes While You Wait". Now that's a little different. Frankly, I didn't know there was any other way to get a tattoo, but there's something to be said for truth in advertising.

Kentucky is a state with a bit of an identity crisis. The south won't claim them because they never seceded from the Union (I know it was a long time ago, but...). And the midwest doesn't want them because they already have Ohio and that's enough dead weight. They're too far south to be "northern" and too far west to be "eastern". Kinda sad, really.

They do have one thing to brag about, though. The toothbrush was invented there. How do we know? Well, if it had been invented anywhere else, they would have called it the "teethbrush".

Till next time..........

Observations on Travel

This is a red letter day for me. For the first time in my life I have a passport. Darlene and I sent in all the stuff a couple of weeks ago and our brand spanking new passports arrived today. I'm not sure why we got them, but now we can go anywhere at the drop of a hat - anywhere we can afford, that is.

In my previous job, I traveled a lot. I was at the airport most Mondays or Tuesdays and back Thursday or Friday. In 2007 I spent 92 nights in Marriott properties alone, not to mention all the other hotels. I traveled so much that the parking lot attendant at the airport noticed when I traded cars. That's when you know you're spending too much time on the road.

One thing for sure, though, you see a lot of sites and learn a lot when you travel that much. Some things are helpful. Take, for instance, a George Clooney line from the hit movie "Up In The Air". He said, "In the security line, always get behind the Asian guys. They pack light and have an affinity for slip on shoes." Good advice.

Other things are funny or just don't make any sense. George Carlin had a great routine on air travel. He said it's no wonder people are afraid to fly because the first word they see at the airport is the word "Terminal". Makes sense to me.

On a recent trip to Baltimore, I noticed several things regarding planes and air travel that just don't make sense to me. I'd send them to George, but he's....well, you know....gone. So here are my additions to the list:

"If Baltimore is not your final destination, you should deplane at this time." - Deplane? What does that mean? We don't "decar" or "detruck", do we? Have you ever heard of a police officer saying "Decar with your hands up!" No need to make up new words. Just tell us "If you're not going to Baltimore, you better get off now." Simpler is always better.

"....put the flat end into the buckle and pull the strap to tighten." - If there's anyone out there who doesn't know how a seatbelt works, I certainly don't want to be 30.000 feet in the air with them. Seriously, is it necessary to explain how it works? Just tell us to make sure they're fastened. Again, simpler is better.

"In the event of a water landing...." - First of all, if we end up in the water it's NOT a landing, it's a crash. Second, I'm not sure a guy my size should rely on a life preserver that looks like it was made for a 4 year old and should have Dora the Explorer painted on it.

"......put the mask over your face and breathe normally." - Yeah, right! Get this picture - you're flying along when all of a sudden the cabin depressurizes and all the oxygen masks come out of the ceiling. What's your next move? I'll tell you this, I wouldn't want to be sitting next to ME if that happens, 'cause you're not getting a mask. I'm grabbing 3 just in case some of them don't work. How often do they check those things, anyway?

"FAA regulations require that you NOT congregate around the lavatory in the front of the cabin" - Congregate around the lavatory? Are you kidding? It's not like it's a punchbowl, for goodness sakes! Have they ever smelled an airplane toilet? Trust me, if I'm headed toward the lavatory, it's out of necessity, not because I want to meet new friends. Besides, it's all I can do to fit in one of those things anyway. I like to do my business while I'm on the ground, the way God intended.

And just think, we haven't even left the ground yet. I have some other travel advice for you, but I'll save that for another time. No sense unloading everything on you at once.

Till next time..........

What's Wrong With You?

We live in a world of information overload - the 24-hour news cycle has seen to that. We have to know everything, from everywhere, as soon as it happens. And so it goes with medicines and maladies. Seems we have to attach a name and a medication to every ache and pain, cough and sniffle. And we're just hypochondriacal enough to believe whatever the drug companies tell us is wrong with us.

Take, for instance, the "alphabetical diseases". There's PAD, COPD, and RLS, just to name a few. For you novices out there, that's Peripheral Artery Disease, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder, and Restless Leg Syndrome. Fortunately, medication is available for the treatment of all of these ailments. I know because I saw them advertised between two episodes of Dancing with the Stars. If you don't think we're gullible, how do you think the drug companies pay for those prime-time television ads? I tell you, there's gold in them thar pills!

And we've changed a few names just to keep you guessing. You aren't sad anymore - you suffer from depression. You don't have heartburn or indigestion - you have acid reflux disease. You don't have aches and pains - you have fibromyalgia. And you don't have gas and an upset stomach - you have irritable bowel syndrome.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like we're coming up with diseases to fit the medication. Sort of like buying a suit to match a tie, in my opinion. Did we miss all this stuff in years past? I mean, we had some pretty smart folks around in the last century - Jonas Salk to name one. Are you telling me that he came up with a vaccine for polio without once giving any thought to the heartbreak caused by Restless Leg Syndrome? What was he thinking? Where are his priorities?

I guess I miss the days when we were ignorant of some of the illnesses around us. According to my mother, there were only two things that could happen to you when you were a kid. You could "put your eye out" or you could "break your neck." Past that, you were home free. And even when I was older, you had your choice of cold, flu, or sore throat. That was pretty much it. Any thing past that and they had to remove something (i.e. gall bladder, appendix, or tonsils).

So when you see ads for Advair, Plavix, or Nexium, don't go looking for symptoms that you didn't even know existed. Take control. If your legs start feeling restless, just get up and walk around. A few trips to the frig and you'll forget all about it - without so much as a single co-pay.

Till next time..........

The Arizona Immigration Bill

Have you heard all the hoopla about this? Seems the governor of Arizona signed a bill giving law enforcement the right to ask for proof of citizenship when a person is being questioned in connection with any violation and they suspect the person may be here illegally. What’s the problem, you ask? Well, the left-leaners say this will lead to racial profiling and a violation of personal rights. They say this gives police too much authority and will cause aggravation to many who are here legally. Well, they’re probably right. So what? I’m guessing that most of the illegal aliens (a.k.a. undocumented workers) in Arizona are Hispanic. I say this because I haven’t heard of any great influx of Chinese or Irish in Phoenix or Tucson. To quote that great American philosopher, Andy Rooney, “When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.” I’d say the same is true for Hispanics in Arizona.

President Obama has called the action “misguided” and asked the Justice Department to examine it to see if it is legal. Well, if there’s an expert on “misguided” it’s probably him. So if the Feds are so upset with this, why haven’t they fixed the problem? Gov. Jan Brewer says she is doing what is “best for the state of Arizona”. Isn’t that what the people of her state elected her to do? Frankly, I wish our governor would always do what’s in the best interest of Tennessee.

Mark my words, the federal government will do something stupid as relates to this situation (now there’s a surprise!). They’ll fast track an appeal to the federal courts or stick their nose in Arizona’s business in some other way. It irritates me to no end when someone does something that makes perfect sense – like Gov. Brewer - and gets criticized for it.

So, let’s see, you’re in Arizona, which borders Mexico. You have a problem with illegal aliens and you want to correct it. Would it make any sense to perhaps check the i.d.’s of lawbreakers who look like they might come from Mexico? Nah! Not before checking with the ACLU. We might hurt their feelings or cause damage to their self esteem. Never mind that we might fix the illegal alien problem in the process.

Oh, and one more thing. If we grant amnesty to the illegal aliens already here, that means we have 20 million more people qualifying for the new healthcare plan. Who’s going to pay for that? Wait…..I think I know the answer to that one.


Till next time………

Vacation Observations

It's sure nice to see some evidence of springtime in our part of the country. Even though we are the hometown of Al Gore, global warming hasn't had much effect and it's been a long winter. We spent a week in Florida a couple of weeks ago. Folks there told us it had been the coldest winter in Florida in 83 years. Apparently Al is still upset with them about the 2000 election and hasn't sent any warming their way either.

Florida is a little different from the rest of the country, weather aside. I like to visit, but I'm not sure I'd want to be a permanent resident. A friend of mine in the freight business told me once that Florida is an "inbound" state. They get a lot of freight in, but not much comes out. That's because they don't really make anything in Florida except oranges. Of course, nowadays, we don't make much of anything in the rest of the country either. Maybe they were just ahead of their time.

At any rate, here are a few observations from our trip to Marco Island:

Shorts and Jackets - This is one of those things that just doesn't make sense to me. Why does the upper part of your body need two layers of clothing, while the lower part is bare? Seems to me if it's cold enough to need a jacket, you probably need long pants on. Call me crazy.

Traffic Lights - Florida has to have the longest traffic lights in the world. It takes forever for a light to change. Darlene says it's because it takes old people longer to cross the street, so they have to make the lights longer to accomodate them. Lord knows there's no shortage of senior citizens in Florida. It's the only place I can go and feel younger. Hey, maybe there really is a Fountain of Youth in Florida!

Men Walking Little Dogs - There's just something about a grown man walking a little lap dog.........How does that happen? What could possibly go wrong in a man's life that would make him willing to do that? You might as well turn in you "Man Card" because all credibility is lost. It's sad, I tell you.

Cell Phones and Exercise - Here's a suggestion...if you're going for a morning walk, leave your cell phone at home. Darlene and I like to walk in the mornings, as do a lot of others. While we were there, I had the good fortune to hear all about one guy's prostate exam results as he and his wife walked behind us. Apparently he was talking to his daughter back home and wanted to give her every detail. Call her when you get back, for Heaven's sake! Besides, you never want someone behind you talking about a prostate exam. Tends to make a fella nervous.

Think About the Rest of Us - I know that spring break plus Florida equals kids, and I have no problem with that. I just ask one favor - give some thought to the rest of us. The hotel we stayed in had a coffee shop on the first floor. They had pastries, cereal, etc., plus all the coffee options. I walked in one morning to a line of about 10 people. The young woman at the front of the line was trying to coax her daughter of about three to "tell the lady what you want." After having her do that about 3 or 4 times, the lady behind the counter finally figured out what she wanted. Well, here's a tip, lady. The rest of us just want a cup of coffee. We don't care that little Cameron finally uttered something that sounded remotely like "yogurt". And we don't think it's cute, no matter how much you look at us and smile. We just want coffee. Save your teachable moments for sometime other than 8 a.m. in a coffee shop.

I'm certain God puts these people in my path to teach me patience and tolerance. And He probably puts me in their path for the same reason. Well, at least He's using me for something!

Till next time..........

Goodbye, Old Friend

If you've visited this site before, you're probably accustomed to my rantings on everything from healthcare to raising children. My position on most issues is pretty predictable and I try to add a little humor to some otherwise dry subjects. This one's a little different. I buried my best friend today.

Ken was a guy who could find something funny in every situation in life. He was just fun to be around.Together we had played countless holes of golf (our record was 225 holes in 6 days). We played in every weather condition known to man, neither of us willing to admit that it was too cold or wet or hot to play. When my job required that I travel most weeks, we didn't play as much and in recent years had not played much together. I regret that.

Along with our wives, we had shared literally thousands of meals and been on numerous vacations, mission trips, retreats, and the like. Each one always had a memorable experience that we would recall and laugh about for years. Life with Ken was like that - something was always memorable.

We had watched our children grow up together, attended their weddings, been present at the births of grandchildren, and grieved with each other when our parents died. When Ken's son Mike got married, Ken was the best man. Mike said it was because "he's the best man I know." Me, too, Mike.

When I look back at all of the significant events in my adult life, Ken and Bev were there with us. Good times, tough times, laughing, crying. Right alongside, whatever the situation. Always encouraging, always in our corner. Ken gave me a pretty good model for being a good friend. I hope I was as good a friend to him as he was to me. I hope I can be that kind of friend to others.

I'll miss him. I already do. I'll never walk up on the first tee again without thinking about him. But I also know he wouldn't want anyone grieving over him. I had the honor of being a pallbearer today. One of the others reminded me that Ken would have had something smart to say about all of us standing in a line with our suits on, waiting on him. And he probably did, we just didn't hear it.

Because of the faith in Christ we share, I know we'll see him again. Until then, goodbye old friend - and save me a tee time.

Till next time..........

Can We Talk About Something Else?

Do you ever get to the point where you wonder if the talking heads will ever find anything new to talk about? I think we're there. Seems like we're just beating the same stories to death day after day. My friend Stan in Greeneville says he's found a cure for all this frustration - he just doesn't watch it or listen to it anymore. He just tunes his television and radio to something other than the news. He says his attitude is a lot better when he's not subjected to the 24 hour news cycle. I think he's onto something.

So here's my list of things I'm tired of hearing about:

• Tiger Woods - From a pure golf skill level perspective, there's none better. But he cheated on his wife and he got caught. End of story. I don't care how many he cheated with. How many cars do you have to steal to be a car thief? And I don't care if he apologizes. He doesn't owe me anything. So move on. Trust me, if he can convince his wife to stay with him after this, he's not only a good golfer, he's a pretty good salesman, too.


• Healthcare Reform - Stop talking about it. It's not going to happen. There is no one on any side of this issue who's willing to give even a little. So quit wasting everyone's time. We've been on this one for 13 months and are in a deadlock. Pronounce it dead and move on.


• Bipartisanship - Sames goes for this. The Democrats want everyone to do it their way and the Republicans want to scrap everything and start over. My suggestion - don't vote for a single incumbent and see if we can do better with a new batch. Can't do any worse.

• AT & T/Verizon Maps - Anytime two companies claim to be the biggest or the fastest, one of them is lying. I finally noticed that one claims to be the biggest and the other claims to be the fastest. Big deal. Here's my question - who's the best? And lose the maps, for Goodness sake!

• Toyota - They have some quality issues, needless to say. But they're in the process of fixing them. Move on. Why does Congress have to get involved? And what would they know about it, anyway? All the "buy American" folks are coming out of the woodwork now, as if GM and Chrysler are any better. At least Toyota is doing it with their own money.

• Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien - I don't know much about the television business, but I know if you don't get ratings, you don't stay. Same story here. Apparently Conan was so bad, it was worth $35 million just to get him off the air. If only I could get someone to hate me that bad.....

• Sarah Palin - I'm not saying she should stop talking altogether, just that she should stop until she can say something intelligent - which is roughly the same thing. I hear some people say she's "refreshing." I'm not sure what that means. What kind of condition is your life in when someone with an IQ like Sarah Palin look refreshing? It's scary, I tell you.

• Danica Patrick - I should preface this by saying that I am not a racing fan. I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. Drive fast, turn left, stop when you see a flag. But why all the ballyhoo over Danica Patrick? I think she's won one race in her career. I haven't seen this much coverage of someone who hasn't done anything since, well, Barack Obama. Maybe her first year will turn out better than his. Maybe we should get her ideas on healthcare. Couldn't hurt.

Well, that's probably enough for now. Maybe when spring gets here we'll move on to things like baseball and the midterm elections. Lord knows we could use a change of scenery.

Till next time..........

Random Ruminations

I told you in my profile that when it didn't have anything to say, I wouldn't. No sense rambling on when you don't have anything to say. Unless, of course, you're a politician. So here we go - a little catch-up on some odds and ends:

• Our old friend Doug Jackson, state senator from my home county, is at it again. You may know that Doug was one of the sponsors of the "guns in restaurants" bill that was thrown out by the courts last year. In this session, he's the proud sponsor of a constitutional amendment that guarantees our right to hunt and fish (bet you didn't know anyone was trying to take that away). Now he's trying to outlaw the airing of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos on late night television. The bill would set a fine of $50.000 for any station who ran the promo spots. Sen. Jackson said, "The more I thought about it, I said, 'You know, it's time to draw the line." Sounds like Doug has way too much time to think. Might be good if he exercised is constitutional right to fish and took a little time off to reassess his priorities.

• I just couldn't pass this one up. Check this out, courtesy of The Nashville Tennessean......"Boxer Evander Holyfield's wife has received a temporary protective order against the former heavyweight champion after claiming he hit her several times after an argument about money. Candi Holyfield said her 47 year-old husband was concerned she was not giving to their church." Now here's a guy who takes his tithing seriously!

• And have you heard about this......."The Cash for Clunkers program was a big hit last year, and the government hopes the Cash for Appliances program will be just as successful, stimulating the economy and making residents become more energy efficient. In 2010, the government is giving a Cash For Appliances rebate for residents to trade in their old one for a more energy-efficient unit, which is in addition to the tax credit implemented last year." So here's my question - when does the Cash for Golf Clubs program start? I'm hoping a new set would be more energy efficient.

• And where's Al "Global Warming" Gore been lately? He seems to have been keeping a pretty low profile while all the bitter cold and snow storms have been in the news. Maybe he's in Washington, helping them shovel snow. One thing's for sure - if Al's around, something will need to be shoveled.

• And finally, hats off to Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana. Sen. Bayh announced that he will not seek a third term in the senate. "To put it in words I think most people can understand: I love working for the people of Indiana, I love helping our citizens make the most of their lives, but I do not love Congress," Bayh said at a news conference. Well, Senator, join the club! Most of us don't like them, either. At least he has the guts to say he's not going to do this stupid dance any longer. I salute him for admitting he doesn't have the stomach for it anymore. Nice to see someone up there who still has some scruples.

Well, it's off to Dallas for a couple of days. I have to remind those guys that if it wasn't for Tennesseans like Davy Crockett and Sam Houston, they'd still be speaking Spanish down there. Then again, they pretty much are still speaking Spanish down there!

Till next time..........

A Tale of Two Stories

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times........"

Even Charles Dickens had a tough time telling one from the other. I direct your attention to two stories that surfaced this past week. They're important because they demonstrate the complete absence of common sense in America. On one hand, a man who is completely honest and truthful. On the other, just the opposite. So which one do you think the American people are rallying around? Well, let's take a look.

Story #1
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is being vilified by everyone from Republicans to members of his own party because, during the 2008 presidential campaign, he said that Barack Obama was electable because "he is light skinned, with no Negro dialect unless he wants to have one." In other words, he told the truth. I don't think anyone - if they're totally honest - disagrees with that statement one bit. What he's saying is that if Obama had looked and sounded like Al Sharpton or Pacman Jones, John McCain would be the president. So why is he being hung out to dry? Because he wasn't politically correct. You see, we've confused the words "truthful" and "insensitive" in this country to the point that we can't be truthful for fear of being insensitive. They're not the same thing.

To me, Harry Reid's only fault is having an uncanny grasp of the obvious. But in the eyes of the media and the liberal left, Harry's comments were harsh, insensitive, and required a sincere, heartfelt apology. In other words, he had to apologize for telling the truth.

Story #2
Mark McGwire, who broke Roger Maris' single season home run record in 1998, finally admitted to using steroids. Well, at least the suspense is over. This admission came just 5 short years after his famous "I'm not here to talk about the past" testimony before Congress in 2005. But here's the sad part - people from all over are lining up behind him in support. Cardinal's manager, Tony LaRussa said, "His willingness to admit mistakes, express his regret, and explain the circumstances that led him to use steroids add to my respect for him." Say what? We respect him because he finally told the truth after lying about it for 5 years? These are the same people who supported Pete Rose after he finally admitted to betting on games he participated in - after lying about it for years. "I never knew when, but I always knew this day would come,'' McGwire said. In other words, he didn't want to come clean until he had to. Makes me sick!

Now take a look at these two stories. One guy tells the truth right out of the chute and is crucified for it. The other lies for 5 years, then decides to tell the truth and is congratulated for his courage. What a country! Trust me, it's not often that I choose a politician over a baseball player, but this is one of them. It's a sad indictment of what we've come to as a society.

Maybe, in a few years, Bernie Madoff can apologize, give us a heartfelt "my bad", and rejoin society. I'm sure he's sorry.

Till next time..........

Happy New Year

Well, 2009 is a memory and a brand-spanking new year is upon us. I have a few of those random thoughts rattling around in my brain, left over from last year, and I wanted to start the new year with a clean slate. So here are the holiday leftovers:

• We've now found out that there was yet another uninvited guest at that State dinner at the White House back in November - that's in addition to the smiling couple who had their picture made with the President. Here's my question...How in the world do we expect to keep terrorists off our airplanes when we can't even secure the White House?

• Speaking of terrorists, I see that the Arab-American League (or whatever) is screaming that we're "profiling" because we're taking extra precautions with people from 14 countries with known al-Qaida ties. OK, so we're profiling. What's your point? To me it's not profiling, it's common sense. If you don't like being singled out, talk to the people doing the bombing. Let's see now, all the terrorists so far have been of Arab decent......I'd call that a pattern.

• And consider the would-be bomber from that Detroit flight on Christmas day. Maybe it's just me, but if I was a bomber-in-training and they told me to put the explosives between my legs and set them off, I'd have some serious questions for my instructor. And as a word of caution, if you're in an airport and you hear someone say "Abdul, them's some dynamite drawers you got on there", you might want to get in the other line.

• Have you seen the ads for Chantix, the drug to help you stop smoking? Have you paid any attention to the side effects? This is right off their website: "If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away. The most common side effects include nausea (30%), sleep problems, constipation, gas, and/or vomiting." Are they serious? Being from the Woodstock generation, this sounds more like an ad for LSD. I wonder if you wouldn't be better off taking your chances with the cigarettes?

• And what about 'Bifidus Regularis'? Not familiar with it, you say? Well, it's the active ingredient in Activia, the laxative yogurt. First of all, laxative yogurt just doesn't sound appetizing to me. Second, I'm not sure I want to introduce any living organisms into my colon. Their website says it 'plays a beneficial role in your intestinal ecosystem.' Boy, those marketing guys can spin anything! And third, who wants a laxative that takes two weeks to work? OK, I'll stop now.

• And finally, where are all those global warming tree huggers this week? We're about to set a record for consecutive days below freezing here in Nashville. Wonder if Al Gore has all his solar panels facing the right direction in his big mansion across town? These global warming guys are trying to take about 120 years of suspect data and make projections on something that's been here millions of years. That's like analyzing one day out of the life of a 50 year-old man and deciding how he ought to spend the rest of his life based on that analysis. Is that reasonable?

So here's hoping that the new year holds great things for all of us. After all, the new healthcare plan won't go into effect for a couple of years. Watch out 2012!

Till next time...........

Christmas Cards

I looked it up on the internet - you know, that wealth of information at our fingertips that was invented by Al Gore. It said that the first Christmas card was sent by Sir Henry Cole in England in 1843. Too bad old Hank isn’t around now to see the fruits of his labors. The account that I read said that Sir Henry sent out cards because he was too busy to compose an individual Christmas greeting for each his friends. Well, I guess some things never change.

There are some pretty strict rules involving Christmas card etiquette. You must follow these rules closely or……well, I’m not sure what happens, but anyway here are a few guidelines:

• If you send someone a card, but you don’t get one in return, it is ok to scratch that person off your list for next year. However, if you DO get a card from them, you must continue sending them cards ad infinitum. Even if you don’t have any other communication with them during the year. They must be close friends or you wouldn’t get a card from them. Simple.
  
• If you DIDN’T send someone a card, but you receive one from them, you must immediately send them a card and rush it to the mailbox that very day if possible. This is to minimize the appearance of having overlooked them in the first place. You wouldn’t want them to think that they weren’t on your “A” list, even though they weren’t.
  
• It is deemed uncaring and insensitive to send cards that have your name pre-printed. If you have pre-printed cards, you must write a short note inside the card so as to give the appearance of a personal touch, which sort of negates the convenience of having them pre-printed. I think we’re back to that “faking sincerity” thing again.
  
• Same for using mailing labels. Real cards are hand addressed.

Those are the basic, heretofore unwritten rules of Christmas card sending. In addition to that, I’d like to pass along some personal preferences. I believe these opinions to be in the majority – maybe not unanimous, but in the majority. So here are a few other suggestions:

• Don’t send those family newsletters. I’ve opined about this before. No one outside your immediate family cares about that stuff, and they already know about it.

• Don’t send pictures of your pets and list their names right along with your spouse and children, unless you consider them equals with your spouse and children – in which case you have some serious problems. And please don’t dress them up in some goofy red suit for the picture, or tie a red bow around their neck. Frankly, I don’t think Rover cares whether I have a merry Christmas or not, and I certainly don’t care about his. When I get a Christmas card from “Bob, Sally, Jennifer and Fido”, it tells me that someone I know has some really bad priority and self esteem issues. If you consider your dog a member of the family, you either need a new dog or a new family – or both!
  
• Don’t put return address labels on Christmas cards. It ruins the surprise. And you know how I like surprises.
  
• And finally, don’t send Christmas cards to everyone you know. Use a little discretion. Here’s a tip. If you feel like you have to use your last name when you sign it so they’ll know who you are, you shouldn’t send it. If you receive a card and you have trouble figuring out who the person is, they shouldn’t have sent you a card.

I’m sure you’ll want to print this so you can refer back to it next year. This is valuable information that should be handed down from generation to generation. But most of all, remember that Christmas is not about gifts, and cards, and decorations. It’s about the birth of Jesus. Don’t forget that! Christmas wouldn’t mean anything without Him.

I pray that each of you and your families have a merry and blessed Christmas.

Till next time……….

Where Have All The Hymnals Gone?

Since we moved last month, we’ve been going through the process of finding a new church that’s a little closer to our new home. Given that we live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, you wouldn’t think that would be a problem. What with at least one church in every block, the choices should be endless, right? Well, not exactly.

Churches are different now and I’m not. That’s not an indictment of the churches, it’s just that I’m dangerously close to 61and I have my own ideas of what church should be like. Before you say anything, I know it’s not all about me and what I want and what I like. It’s about reaching out to the community and being relevant, but mostly it’s about carrying the Gospel message to those around us. That part hasn’t changed – or shouldn’t change.

You see, my childhood church was small. It seemed big at the time, but I had nothing to compare it to. It would probably seat 100 or so. We had three classrooms for Sunday School across the back of the church. No bathroom, no running water. I’ve belonged to some larger churches since then, of course, but nothing like some of these “Six Flags Over Jesus” mega-churches of today.

In addition to the new look of churches, there’s a whole list of new terms that are used in churches today. In order to help those of you who, like us, are searching for a church home, here’s a glossary of terms you need to study before your search begins:

• Traditional Service – This used to be called “church”. It’s where you go to hear and sing hymns like “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” and “Blessed Assurance.” These services are likely at 8:00 or 8:30. Apparently the people in charge have decided that most “traditional” people get up early and might as well go to church. Good luck finding a “traditional” service at 11:00.
  
• Contemporary Service – The term “contemporary” is defined as “fashionable” or “modern-day”. In today’s church, “contemporary” means mostly one thing – drums. If it’s a Baptist church, it also means the preacher takes his tie off – after the “traditional” service, of course. You don’t often see the words “Baptist” and “contemporary” used in the same sentence. It’s like the term “liberal Baptists”. They’re the ones who speak to each other when they meet in the liquor store.
  
• Blended Service – This is some weird combination of the traditional and contemporary services. It’s kind of like listening to bluegrass music being played on a flute – it just wasn’t the way it was intended to be. My advice – pick one or the other, but don’t blend.
  
• Praise Music – This is the music usually sung in a contemporary service. It is usually up-tempo and loud. Not many people know the words to praise music, but that’s really not a problem because there aren’t that many words anyway. There are usually just a few phrases that are repeated indefinitely. I’ve heard it referred to as “7-11 Music.” Seven words, eleven times. You get the picture.
  
• Praise Team – This is a group of three or four people with microphones who stand in front of the church and lead the praise music. In most cases, they replace the choir. Actually they don’t really lead it, they just stand up and sing it. Not to be judgmental, but most of them look more like they’re passing a kidney stone than leading worship – but that’s just me.
  
• Hymnals – These were books of hymns used a long time ago - back before we read the words off the wall. They actually had the music and words written down and numbered for you. Ask your grandparents if you want more information.

Now, before you get all testy, bear in mind that this is only my opinion. Thankfully, in this country, you can go to church wherever you want. You don’t have to like the same thing I like. The best news is that God hasn’t changed. No matter how we worship Him, whether we stand up or sit down, whether we clap or don’t clap, God is still the same. And “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” is still a great piece of music, whether you read it off the wall or out of a hymnal.

It used to be that all most churches wanted was a young preacher and a new van. Now add to that drums and a p.a. system and video screens. Progress, I guess. At least it gets me in bed early on Saturday night. Got to get up early if you want to be “traditional”.

Till next time……….

Stop The Insanity!

Remember Susan Powter? In the 90’s, she was the queen of infomercials - a fitness buff with short blond hair whose call to arms was “Stop the insanity!” Well, I’d like to borrow Susan’s signature phrase and apply it to our political system.

Can somebody, anybody, stop blaming someone else – usually the other party – for everything that’s wrong with America? Can someone, anyone, admit that the other party might have a good idea? Can they also concede that their own party may have made some mistakes, too? No, I guess not.

If you’ve visited this site before you probably know that I consider myself a conservative independent. That means I believe that smaller government is better government, but that we have an obligation to take care of those who can’t take care of themselves. Somewhere in between those two ideologies is where I stand. I’ve explained all this before in earlier posts – feel free to go back and refresh your memory.

The political stage today is getting more polarized by the minute. Take the recent governor’s races in Virginia and New Jersey. Both were won by Republicans. On all the news channels and major networks, the Republicans are saying that this is a sign of dissatisfaction with the Obama administration and is the beginning of the end of “Change We Can Believe In.” The Democrats, on the other hand, say that state politics has nothing to do with national politics and the Republican victories mean nothing. My guess is that if the shoe had been on the other foot, the responses would have been just the opposite. Here’s my best guess – the people in Virginia and New Jersey voted for the person they felt would do the best job in their respective states. Period. It wasn’t an indictment of the current administration, nor an insignificant local event. It was the people of a state expressing their opinion that something should change. I thought that’s what this country was all about.

See, this is where politicians are missing the point. They think we’re more interested in hearing whose fault it was than in what they’re going to do to fix it. The Democrats spend all their time telling us that the Bush administration left things in such a mess that it’s just going to take some time to pull out of it. The Republicans say the record deficits and spending will ruin us. They haven’t offered much of an alternative to anything so far. This is why I’m an independent – I don’t really buy what either party is selling.

It’s also fair to note that President Obama is finding out that results are a lot harder to achieve than Candidate Obama ever thought they would be. He’s finding out, as many have before him, that keeping campaign promises is a lot harder than making them. I just wish he’d stop talking about all the mistakes that were made over the past 8 years and how he inherited such a mess. Yes, he did, but it wasn’t a mess created solely by the Bush administration. It is a mess that has been brewing since the ‘50’s under both parties. And the Democrats controlled both houses of congress for the last two years of Bush’s presidency. But it is what it is. So stop wasting time, effort, and breath telling me how bad the previous guy was. “Don’t tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby” seems to sum it up for me. Mr. President, please apply this to Afghanistan, the economy, healthcare, and all the other issues on the table. I’m less interested in whose fault it was and more interested in what you’re going to do about it.

As for what the governor’s races in New Jersey and Virginia mean, I refer you to the late Tip O’Neill, who credits his father with saying “all politics is local”. That means most people vote based on their personal situation and how their own community is affected. While that may be selfish and short-sighted, it’s reality. Maybe it’s because we Americans tend to be selfish and short-sighted in everything else we do.

In the meantime, congratulations to the newly elected governors. We’ll see what all this really means in the mid-term elections next year. Until then, let the finger-pointing continue!

Till next time………